bea true

Life can be good if you let it be

A co-worker has been asking me a ton of questions about being preggers and babies. I returned with the silliest question, “Are you and your husband ready to have one?” The question came from part curiosity and part getting the heat off me for a few minutes. In hindsight, I know I shouldn’t have asked. Who is ever ready?

Even this second time around. I am still getting nervous. How am I going to go grocery shopping with two by myself? What if I need to go to the bathroom during that trip to the store?

Sometimes, it’s the little things. Other times, it’s the big things. Things are going to be different. There will be no turning back. Things will be harder. Things will also be amazing.

Our monkey will have someone to relate to, to play with, to comfort, and to grow up with. We will get to meet another amazing little person that will brighten our days in ways we could never imagine. We will have even more love in our wee little home!

Lately, our evenings have been so sweet. Monkey is usually running around in between taking birdy bites of her food. Sometimes, she’s tracking down one of her kitty sisters. Sometimes, she’s giggling to herself as she does her ogre/zombie walk (bent over with arms sticking out). Sometimes, she charges at us for a kiss or a cuddle. I’m so thankful that we made it to this point.

It wasn’t always like this. When monkey first came, she had a horrible case of colic. In the late afternoon, we would watch the clock slowly tick to 6. Waiting for our fate. On cue, her colic would begin. She would be inconsolable from 6 until 10. 4 hours straight of screeching crying. We tried everything but nothing ever worked. Combined with exhaustion and being over my head in postpartum hormone mood swings, it was all too much.

Friends kept saying, wait until three months. Then, you won’t feel like you’re in the weeds. It really took until six months to feel like we had found our family’s rhythm.

All of these memories are beginning to surface as prep for baby girl gets into full swing. When I start to get anxious, I always try to remember that there will be days when we will see them giggling and chasing each other. That we’ll get to watch Monkey teach baby girl all sorts of things. That we’ll be able to go out to our favorite restaurants. Eventually. After we get out of the weeds.

Strawberry girl!

Strawberry girl!

After we got back from our Seattle vacation, we took monkey for a late afternoon walk and a quick stop at the park.

When we got to the park, we saw another little tot. Totally a rare sighting. When the other little tot started playing on the big playground, monkey walked over to her, enthusiastically shouting to get her attention. They played with the wood chips. Monkey got a little too close and was a little too loud. It was a little too much for the other tot. You could tell that monkey liked being around her.

When the other tot left, we told her to say bye. Monkey didn’t get to do a face-to-face bye. After they left in the car, monkey started searching for her new friend. She walked all over the wee playground looking for her. We had never seen her look for somebody at a playground like this. She looked a bit sad and confused.

We kept trying to explain to her that it was getting close to dinner time. That’s probably why they had to leave. She still kept walking around to see if she could find her. Even her daddy was sad for her.

At that moment, I realized that her friendships will be her own experiences. I will never be able to predict who she will find interesting or know how attached she will suddenly become. I can’t protect her from being sad when they leave. Sigh.

Miss Grumpy Bunny

Miss Grumpy Bunny

Happy 20 Weeks!

I cannot believe that we’re halfway to meeting baby girl. Things have been going well. We’ve been playing with monkey and taking breaks in between.

Baby girl discovered the deliciousness of grapes last week. We found some that were super juicy, a little tart and sweet. We devoured the bag in two days. She has also been loving eating bananas with her big sister.

Still loving all the little wiggles. Can’t wait for the big movements.